FOREVER ALONE.
Oh my goodness! We’ve all heard it before, in fact 90% of us have at one point complained about our single life. I get on social media now and there are middle schoolers saying this! This concept of being in a relationship has completely taken over, to the point where we're emotionally losing the ability to function without someone telling us that we're beautiful or without having someone to text, or even better, someone to snapchat at all times! Something must be wrong with us right? My number one pet peeve is being told that I could have a boyfriend if I wanted one.
I have only been single for a 9 months now and I have stumbled upon a few wonderful candidates here and there but I am still single. Truth be told, I probably could have a boyfriend if I wanted one but I am not looking to just settle with anyone just so I can set my status on Facebook as in a relationship. I'd rather not have a Man Crush Monday than have to change it every other week because I keep settling on guys and changing my mind! Not only that but I also want to meet someone who doesn't plan on tossing me out once something better comes along! I admit, sometimes it is so hard being patient! Am I right? There are great looking people everywhere and every now and then, you meet someone with that irresistibly but deceiving charm to them! Now, not all are this way but stay with me.. We’ve all wondered what we’re doing wrong and Valentines Day has become a day more dedicated to complaining about love than celebrating it. I’ve done it, you guys have done it.. We are ALL guilty of this!
Well, it's time we stop Stop beating yourself up because you’re single, stop complaining about it and do something about it. No, don’t go make some random stranger your Valentine, that’s not at all what I am saying! Ladies: What I am saying, is to A) Stop putting these expectations on men, if your happiness and contentment is entirely reliant on a relationship, you will NEVER be happy! B) You may not be doing anything wrong, you’re not too fat, you’re not ugly but the problem might still be you. And guys, this is not the time to play the field, breaking hearts and scoping out your next victim. Utilize the time to better yourself, to heal from past heart breaks, and to become the person that your future spouse deserves! In today’s generation, we’ve stopped caring. We want to live our lives to the fullest, having a blast without any concern for the future! Again, STOP! You and your friends might boast to one another about all of the people you’ve been with or all of the babes you’re talking to but when it comes down to someone you like, it becomes embarrassing to share and even more intimidating to hear about. You can roll your eyes, chuckle all you want but we have all met someone who has made these conversations and relationships very difficult. It becomes a relationship infatuation, jealousy begins to consume each individual and you love this person so much, the things you never regretted before are now the very things that haunt not only you but your boyfriend/girlfriend too.
So what are we going to do? Good question!
Take this time alone and discover who you are, what you love, what you want in life, and who you want to be. Your past is never so bad that you can’t move on. There is always room for improving and growth! Learn to love yourself because you will never receive the love you truly deserve if you walk around thinking you don’t deserve much. That is a personal problem. It’s time to forgive and move on! Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and forgive those who have hurt you! Move on now because the number one thing that destroys relationships is the baggage that is brought into it.
I was the worst! I have always been that girl to push away, even the good guys, out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear that was caused by other guys who taken advantage of my heart and left me broken. With this came trust issues, jealousy, and no relationship can flourish this way! Take this time of being single to heal old wounds so that way when the right guy or girl does come along, you can enjoy them! They won’t have to pick up the broken pieces because there are none.
Here’s where it gets interesting..
Ladies, it is important to have standards but do not have expectations. There are things that you should look for in a guy, absolutely but give them some credit! I was that girl, on Pinterest that would look through pictures thinking “My husband better cry when he sees me on our wedding day.” No! We have it all wrong. Do not put rules on these guys, they are not perfect and I promise you that they are not going to meet all of your Nicholas Sparks expectations! Set standards, here are some of mine: I want to meet a man that loves me with everything that they are. That looks at me with adoration, that cares for people as much as I do and that I can grow old with. Someone who is my best friend and the love of my life for all of eternity! Not someone who shows up at my house in the pouring rain, after an argument with a thousand roses. Ladies, guys don’t think the same as we do. Sorry but it’s true! You will meet someone who is charming and romantic in his own way, his efforts of appreciation toward you might not be movie worthy but if he is loving you whole heartedly to the best of his ability, give him some credit. Believe it or not, guys are fragile too!
Now for the guys, most of us girls are hopeless romantics! We are designed for love, we thrive off of compliments, we yearn for someone who gives us that feeling of importance and worth! We want to hold your hand, we love kisses on the forehead and we don’t want to feel like an option or a second choice. Girls are complicated! But someday you will find the girl that makes you want to be better, that makes video games with the guys sound less exciting, who maybe even makes you miss that football game that you’ve been anticipating all week! But she will be worth it. Don’t treat her like a prize and no matter who you’re dealing with, be gentle. I wish that I could tell you, your girl will be understanding all of the time, that she will always appreciate your efforts, and that she finds your simplicity, oh so romantic! But I cant. So the most important thing is that you’re trying!
Enjoy the little things, there is so much more to life than having someone to call bae! So dance around like a fool, laugh until you almost pee your pants.. cherish time with your friends and become the person you can be proud of! And when you meet someone, love them tenderly. Give them the best of you and don’t hold them accountable for everyone else’s mistakes! So no, stop with the pity! You are not forever alone, you’re not hopeless and your time will come! Learn to be independent, to be happy and to enjoy your life anyways! Truth be told, if you complain about being single you’re probably going to complain about your relationship too! Don’t rush into these relationships, cherish the idea of them and I promise that when the right one does come along, you will be ready!
I have only been single for a 9 months now and I have stumbled upon a few wonderful candidates here and there but I am still single. Truth be told, I probably could have a boyfriend if I wanted one but I am not looking to just settle with anyone just so I can set my status on Facebook as in a relationship. I'd rather not have a Man Crush Monday than have to change it every other week because I keep settling on guys and changing my mind! Not only that but I also want to meet someone who doesn't plan on tossing me out once something better comes along! I admit, sometimes it is so hard being patient! Am I right? There are great looking people everywhere and every now and then, you meet someone with that irresistibly but deceiving charm to them! Now, not all are this way but stay with me.. We’ve all wondered what we’re doing wrong and Valentines Day has become a day more dedicated to complaining about love than celebrating it. I’ve done it, you guys have done it.. We are ALL guilty of this!
Well, it's time we stop Stop beating yourself up because you’re single, stop complaining about it and do something about it. No, don’t go make some random stranger your Valentine, that’s not at all what I am saying! Ladies: What I am saying, is to A) Stop putting these expectations on men, if your happiness and contentment is entirely reliant on a relationship, you will NEVER be happy! B) You may not be doing anything wrong, you’re not too fat, you’re not ugly but the problem might still be you. And guys, this is not the time to play the field, breaking hearts and scoping out your next victim. Utilize the time to better yourself, to heal from past heart breaks, and to become the person that your future spouse deserves! In today’s generation, we’ve stopped caring. We want to live our lives to the fullest, having a blast without any concern for the future! Again, STOP! You and your friends might boast to one another about all of the people you’ve been with or all of the babes you’re talking to but when it comes down to someone you like, it becomes embarrassing to share and even more intimidating to hear about. You can roll your eyes, chuckle all you want but we have all met someone who has made these conversations and relationships very difficult. It becomes a relationship infatuation, jealousy begins to consume each individual and you love this person so much, the things you never regretted before are now the very things that haunt not only you but your boyfriend/girlfriend too.
So what are we going to do? Good question!
Take this time alone and discover who you are, what you love, what you want in life, and who you want to be. Your past is never so bad that you can’t move on. There is always room for improving and growth! Learn to love yourself because you will never receive the love you truly deserve if you walk around thinking you don’t deserve much. That is a personal problem. It’s time to forgive and move on! Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and forgive those who have hurt you! Move on now because the number one thing that destroys relationships is the baggage that is brought into it.
I was the worst! I have always been that girl to push away, even the good guys, out of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear that was caused by other guys who taken advantage of my heart and left me broken. With this came trust issues, jealousy, and no relationship can flourish this way! Take this time of being single to heal old wounds so that way when the right guy or girl does come along, you can enjoy them! They won’t have to pick up the broken pieces because there are none.
Here’s where it gets interesting..
Ladies, it is important to have standards but do not have expectations. There are things that you should look for in a guy, absolutely but give them some credit! I was that girl, on Pinterest that would look through pictures thinking “My husband better cry when he sees me on our wedding day.” No! We have it all wrong. Do not put rules on these guys, they are not perfect and I promise you that they are not going to meet all of your Nicholas Sparks expectations! Set standards, here are some of mine: I want to meet a man that loves me with everything that they are. That looks at me with adoration, that cares for people as much as I do and that I can grow old with. Someone who is my best friend and the love of my life for all of eternity! Not someone who shows up at my house in the pouring rain, after an argument with a thousand roses. Ladies, guys don’t think the same as we do. Sorry but it’s true! You will meet someone who is charming and romantic in his own way, his efforts of appreciation toward you might not be movie worthy but if he is loving you whole heartedly to the best of his ability, give him some credit. Believe it or not, guys are fragile too!
Now for the guys, most of us girls are hopeless romantics! We are designed for love, we thrive off of compliments, we yearn for someone who gives us that feeling of importance and worth! We want to hold your hand, we love kisses on the forehead and we don’t want to feel like an option or a second choice. Girls are complicated! But someday you will find the girl that makes you want to be better, that makes video games with the guys sound less exciting, who maybe even makes you miss that football game that you’ve been anticipating all week! But she will be worth it. Don’t treat her like a prize and no matter who you’re dealing with, be gentle. I wish that I could tell you, your girl will be understanding all of the time, that she will always appreciate your efforts, and that she finds your simplicity, oh so romantic! But I cant. So the most important thing is that you’re trying!
Enjoy the little things, there is so much more to life than having someone to call bae! So dance around like a fool, laugh until you almost pee your pants.. cherish time with your friends and become the person you can be proud of! And when you meet someone, love them tenderly. Give them the best of you and don’t hold them accountable for everyone else’s mistakes! So no, stop with the pity! You are not forever alone, you’re not hopeless and your time will come! Learn to be independent, to be happy and to enjoy your life anyways! Truth be told, if you complain about being single you’re probably going to complain about your relationship too! Don’t rush into these relationships, cherish the idea of them and I promise that when the right one does come along, you will be ready!
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
We all have those people that we call up when we get bored, the few we text when somethings gone terribly wrong, those last minute lunch plans, the throwback thursday crew, and then of course.. if they favorite my tweet or like my pictures, we must be friends. Right? Maybe you even have people that you talk to on a regular basis, spend most of your time with and tell everything to! Are these really your friends? Are you really even their friend? Maybe so, according to our generations expectation and understanding of a friend but that’s not what a friend really is!
I’ve had my share of “best friends,” we all have! If anything, I can honestly say that I am surrounded by wonderful people and have many acquaintances but I have a very select number of friends that I can actually count on and even fewer that are truly good friends to me. Everywhere I look, I see a lack of friendship and it is so disappointing! I watch people left and right, seeking for something that is no longer there. Friends are no longer reliable and nowadays the people that were your friends today, might not be tomorrow! People take offense and they give up, they move on, and instantly they become your enemies. Truth be told, those kinds of people might have been your enemies all along!
So before you start disqualifying people off of your list of friends, let me say this..
A friend is someone that encourages you to be your best and who sees the best in you no matter what you’re going through or what mistakes you’ve made. It is someone who considers your emotions and your feelings, regardless of whether or not you’re in an argument. It is someone who supports you and who is honest with you, in ways that protect you rather than hurt you! A friend is someone that is consistent, not someone who calls you when their other friends have abandoned them or when no one else will listen. It is someone that reminds you on a regular basis of your importance to them even though they don’t need to because you already know! They pick you up and they make you better! They remind you of your potential and your worth. They listen, sincerely and they make time for you! They would drop anything if you needed them to. They provide a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help you, and advice that benefits you in a positive way! They are people that make you feel safe, that you can trust with your darkest fears, your most shameful regrets, your deepest secrets, and with your biggest dreams! Friends are people that would be as true to you, in a room filled with your worst enemies, as they would be in a room with just you. They have nothing bad to say about you behind your back and they are not afraid to shut down the conversations about you that you’re unaware of. A friend is someone that can read the emotions on your face and that cares to dig even a little bit deeper, that is willing to blow off the biggest party of the year to watch a movie with you when you’ve had a horrible day. These days, these characteristics are almost nonexistent and true friends are extremely hard to find.
Think of it this way, a friend should be:
Faithful, Reliable, Inspiring, Encouraging, Noble, Devoted, and Sincere.
Now this is a really important part! What kind of friend are you? How can you expect to have these types of friends if you’re not this kind of friend in return? Good friends are hard to come by but they do exist and the most important thing is that you find yourself embracing these qualities personally! But that’s not where it stops. You cannot be a good friend to those that you are most comfortable with if you are not a good friend to those with whom you know nothing about! Your friends see all of you, they see the good and they see the bad. You know all of their dirt and they know yours, yet you treat them with respect and you love them anyways! How much more should you respect those that you don’t know. I promise that if you embrace these qualities and reflect your love on every person you come in contact with that, being a good friend will come more natural to you and you will encounter a more broad number of good friends in return. So challenge yourself and go that extra mile! Smile at strangers, let your words and actions bring hope to everyone that you come in contact with because you truly don’t know their struggles or what they may be going home to. If someone is rude to you, bite your tongue and give them a reason to walk away feeling different! Much like the ingredients in a cake, it takes each characteristic in order to be complete! So don’t be discouraged if at this point in your life, you don’t have a wide variety of friends and don’t let the little things get to you! Just like last week, allow yourself the time to comprehend the importance of being true to someone else before you expect that for yourself! You could be doing everything right, except maybe you gossip behind your friends back when they’re not around and what does any of the good matter? Just like a cake won’t come out the way it should if you leave out what seems to not matter! Appreciate the people that have been placed in your life, to the fullest! It all starts with you. Be the friend you wish you had!
I’ve had my share of “best friends,” we all have! If anything, I can honestly say that I am surrounded by wonderful people and have many acquaintances but I have a very select number of friends that I can actually count on and even fewer that are truly good friends to me. Everywhere I look, I see a lack of friendship and it is so disappointing! I watch people left and right, seeking for something that is no longer there. Friends are no longer reliable and nowadays the people that were your friends today, might not be tomorrow! People take offense and they give up, they move on, and instantly they become your enemies. Truth be told, those kinds of people might have been your enemies all along!
So before you start disqualifying people off of your list of friends, let me say this..
A friend is someone that encourages you to be your best and who sees the best in you no matter what you’re going through or what mistakes you’ve made. It is someone who considers your emotions and your feelings, regardless of whether or not you’re in an argument. It is someone who supports you and who is honest with you, in ways that protect you rather than hurt you! A friend is someone that is consistent, not someone who calls you when their other friends have abandoned them or when no one else will listen. It is someone that reminds you on a regular basis of your importance to them even though they don’t need to because you already know! They pick you up and they make you better! They remind you of your potential and your worth. They listen, sincerely and they make time for you! They would drop anything if you needed them to. They provide a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help you, and advice that benefits you in a positive way! They are people that make you feel safe, that you can trust with your darkest fears, your most shameful regrets, your deepest secrets, and with your biggest dreams! Friends are people that would be as true to you, in a room filled with your worst enemies, as they would be in a room with just you. They have nothing bad to say about you behind your back and they are not afraid to shut down the conversations about you that you’re unaware of. A friend is someone that can read the emotions on your face and that cares to dig even a little bit deeper, that is willing to blow off the biggest party of the year to watch a movie with you when you’ve had a horrible day. These days, these characteristics are almost nonexistent and true friends are extremely hard to find.
Think of it this way, a friend should be:
Faithful, Reliable, Inspiring, Encouraging, Noble, Devoted, and Sincere.
Now this is a really important part! What kind of friend are you? How can you expect to have these types of friends if you’re not this kind of friend in return? Good friends are hard to come by but they do exist and the most important thing is that you find yourself embracing these qualities personally! But that’s not where it stops. You cannot be a good friend to those that you are most comfortable with if you are not a good friend to those with whom you know nothing about! Your friends see all of you, they see the good and they see the bad. You know all of their dirt and they know yours, yet you treat them with respect and you love them anyways! How much more should you respect those that you don’t know. I promise that if you embrace these qualities and reflect your love on every person you come in contact with that, being a good friend will come more natural to you and you will encounter a more broad number of good friends in return. So challenge yourself and go that extra mile! Smile at strangers, let your words and actions bring hope to everyone that you come in contact with because you truly don’t know their struggles or what they may be going home to. If someone is rude to you, bite your tongue and give them a reason to walk away feeling different! Much like the ingredients in a cake, it takes each characteristic in order to be complete! So don’t be discouraged if at this point in your life, you don’t have a wide variety of friends and don’t let the little things get to you! Just like last week, allow yourself the time to comprehend the importance of being true to someone else before you expect that for yourself! You could be doing everything right, except maybe you gossip behind your friends back when they’re not around and what does any of the good matter? Just like a cake won’t come out the way it should if you leave out what seems to not matter! Appreciate the people that have been placed in your life, to the fullest! It all starts with you. Be the friend you wish you had!