What’s the first thing that we think of when someone complains about his or her clothes not fitting? Probably that the clothes have been grown out of, that we’ve gained too much weight; that these clothes are too small or too tight! Our generation has become absolutely obsessive with the idea of a perfect body, the ideal and the proper figure. We’ve completely enabled marketers while entirely disowning and crippling our society! Wear your make up a certain way, make sure your contour lines are this way and you are supposed to style your hair that way! Don’t eat that, you should be working out and “I would never be caught dead wearing those clothes.” We’ve become so manipulative with our opinions and truly have deceived a generation of broken teenagers, longing to find contentment and security!
The thing is that in the process of starving a generation so that they meet the standards of the animated celebrities on the cover of magazines, these clothes are not fitting them any better… Let me explain. When I was in the 8th grade, a kid at school, without realizing the power of his words, told me that I was fat. This completely destroyed me and to this day, I still am not the same! My weight and my looks became an infatuation. I was constantly pulling at my clothes to loosen them up and bought sizes that 6 years later, as an adult, I still would not fit into. I saw myself as this monster every time that I looked in the mirror, I was completely blind to the reality of my appearance but the reflection only showed me the image my mind wanted me to see! I completely altered my entire routine! If I ate food throughout the day, I locked myself away in the bathroom and forced a toothbrush down my throat until I felt I had thrown up every thing that I had eaten and then some. I worked out in the morning when I woke up, after school and again before bed. Then there were days that I refused to eat at all. In a matter of weeks, I had gone down from a size 1 (which was already small) to a size 00. My clothes didn’t fit! What I thought was becoming acceptable, still was leaving me uncomfortable. I found no satisfaction because I still refused to wear tight clothes, in fear of revealing any “fat”. After my parents became aware of what was going on, I was able to stable up my habits a little bit but mentally, was still distraught. All through high school, I pulled at my clothes and starved myself the week before each dance so that I would look “beautiful” in my dresses. I was absolutely obsessed with trying to mirror the perfection that I saw on the big screen. I’ve seen it over and over again, where girls completely alter their entire lives to meet this expectation that our generation has placed on them and for what? In the end, we’re still left insecure! Whether you gain too much weight or you loose too much of it, our clothes still aren’t fitting! I am saying from the perspective of your average 5’3” girl, with an average weight, that you are beautiful and the people you find perfect; find someone else perfect. We have become our own worst enemies and the biggest bully in our lives, has become ourselves. As a girl who has weighed as little as 100 pounds all the way up to 155 pounds, the struggle for perfection and this pursuit of acceptance whether with others or for yourself is no longer necessary! Whether something has been said to and/or about you. Let it go! Maybe nothing has been said to you but you are longing to be looked at the way guys look at those other girls... It breaks my heart to see girls that were once absolutely breathtakingly beautiful, who have allowed the enemy to whisper sweet nothings in their ear that left them empty and longing to feel something. So much so that they completely lose control of their body’s attempts to seek satisfaction! The worst part is that although these girls are still beautiful, they look not only unhappy but also unhealthy and now, no one is looking at them as overweight (just the same as they weren’t before) but now they see you as under it! Women it is time that we stop allowing our generation, our society to decide what looks good on us and what doesn’t. I will not allow for another person I know to lose themselves so that they meet the worlds expectation of beautiful. Do things for yourself! Challenge yourself to be better, to get stronger, to be healthier. Don’t degrade yourself for the way that you don’t look. WE ARE GIRLS, I get it. Some days we wake up insecure! There are two battles that occur on a regular basis; the battle between you and your reflection, the battle between your reflection and someone else’s. As girls, we compare ourselves to just about every other female figure on the planet. Us single ladies are constantly nitpicking ourselves to receive attention and you taken ladies are usually manipulating yourself so that way you don’t lose it! “His ex girlfriend his so pretty”, “There is so much better out there,” “I’m not pretty enough... I’m not skinny enough.” We are all guilty of this! Don’t try to alter your body to fit this idea of perfection, adjust your thoughts so that way this idea doesn’t alter your body’s physical and mental perfections! Until you appreciate yourself and learn to love yourself, you will never be good enough. Sounds brutal. Sorry that I have to be the one to break it to you! Two important things that will allow healing and restoration in this aspect of your life: LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and train your mind to see the good things, the features that you do love about yourself. If you can’t do that right now, take the mirrors out of your room until you can! Use them only when getting ready! Put post it notes in your room, with scriptures or quotes; reminders of how beautiful you truly are! Song of Solomon 4:7- You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Stop comparing yourself to others! Utilize the way others enhance the features that you notice and give it a try! Try doing your make up a different way! Do something different with your hair, maybe dress up or even dress down your outfit a little bit! Eat healthy! Drink a lot of water and don’t eat anything that you are going to be hard on yourself about later. Most importantly, be someone who is beautiful from the inside. Someone who, aside from your own insecurities, encourages and brings out the best in others. Someone who looks for the gold and reminds others of their beauty too, not someone who envies anothers beauty so much that they become bitter. 1 Peter 3:3-4- Do not let your adorning be external- the braiding of hair and the putting of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. LEARN TO ACCEPT LOVE The Bible says that we are created in God’s image. He finds us beautiful and it’s time we stop blaming him for our insecurities. He didn’t mess up, he didn’t make a mistake. He loves you and we are the ones labeling ourselves. Psalm 129:14- I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Seek love, a love that is beyond beautiful. It’s hard to be discouraged when you are overwhelmed with joy and contentment that only grace could provide! Psalm 147: 3- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
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Purpose of BlogI am just a regular mom and typical preacher's daughter, living and learning day by day. Facing the inevitable and learning to embrace flaws! I'm finding beauty in disaster, contentment in disappointment, and hope where it's become impractical. I'm here to provide support in learning to love yourself, love your life and embrace the scars and the stories left behind, obstacles you've encountered and the suffering you've endured. Archives
October 2018
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