You probably don’t recognize me, in fact you’ve never met me before but I know you. I’m writing this letter to you not as a warning because unfortunately, it’s too late but I am utilizing this time as a reminder instead. I am writing this letter to my past self, as well as to my future self. You have come such a long way! Looking back almost a year ago, you are nothing like the person that you used to be. Now you have your moments and you can be sassier now than ever but you are happy; so very happy! By grace, you have been restored and you have been redeemed! You have so much potential and you have such a bright future ahead of you at this rate. If I could tell you anything and encourage you in any way this is what I would want you to know… You have spent a lot of your life angry and alone. If ever bitterness begins to take over the way that it once had, I pray that you would fight the urge to invest in it. Don’t blame everyone else for the pain that you feel, the self inflicted embarrassment and the guilt that you have brought upon yourself. You will never be satisfied and I pray that you’re not. Every time that you have ever looked in the mirror, you’ve reflected on the flaws. You have compared yourself to every person that you’ve ever surrounded yourself with and you have become intimidated by the people you empowered to be threats. What have you always been so afraid of? Not everyone desires to hurt you and why do you hide yourself away? You don’t recognize me now because you never knew who you were and always took on these personas of everyone else because you couldn’t find me. I’ve always been here; you’ve always looked me over. Hebrews 12:17 “…Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.” So now let me tell you about myself, I AM BEAUTIFUL. I am about 5’3 and I like change so your blonde hair is now brown, your long hair is now short (I know you never would have approved of this). I am absolutely overwhelmed with joy and I can literally laugh for hours on end, at myself... It’s actually absurd. I love people so much! I have never been more in love with Christ and I have never felt more loved by Him than I do now! I have found contentment but I am nowhere near satisfied. I am no longer bound by intimidation or anger over past hurts and my scars are nearly invisible. I have my moments and sometimes I allow my emotions to overtake me, causing a version of me that you would probably be more familiar with, to come out but never for long. I am so much better than that! I have been made new and I am no longer afraid of accepting love. In fact, I wake up every day and make the decision to love and to be loved. It’s no longer about me but about Him! Grace is on my side. Fear no longer has a hold over me and I am grateful to be alive! Let me remind you that I am Fragile but I am no longer broken. Now back to you! You have so much potential. You are worthy of the love that has been given to you and of the person that God has strategically brought you to. You are not limited by the decisions you have made and the person you used to be but you can do anything! You WILL remain pure and God is going to utilize your faithfulness to Him and your willingness for Him in a way that brings honor and glory to His name! You WILL encourage people; you WILL remain loyal to them. Before you, lay a life of opportunity and the dreams that you’ve always had, are being placed directly in front of you. Take them with courage and with humility! Always stay sweet because “everyone likes something sweet but not everyone likes something bitter.” Live a life of honor so that no one ever has anything bad to say about you. Speak with integrity and with truth! Last but not least, don’t look back. Don’t allow what once was to interfere with what could be! You are where you are for a reason and for a purpose, regardless of how you got there. Love the unlovable and give without restriction, without judgment. Forgive and bring life. Hebrews 10:14 “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” Years from now, I hope to hear back from you and I pray stability. I pray that you would pursue the life that you are destined for. Remember me but I hope the next time I hear from you, that again… You would be unrecognizable. That love would never leave you, faith would enhance you, and that grace would sustain you. You have the ability to change the world, for Christ lives in you and through Him it is possible. Become the woman WE have always dreamed of becoming! I believe in you, I always have. James 2:26 “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” Love Yourself. For those of you reading this, I know the struggle of identity. The last year of my life was tragic for me and in a way that brought life. It literally took mourning over the death of who I used to be to become grateful and joyful for the person I was created to be! It took a year of being single and learning to appreciate the quiet times to understand the depth and greatness of what was yet to come! What feels weary and discouraging now is not a permanent feeling but instead is a temporary way of waking up what has been relaxed and worn out. A lot of times we view hardships and struggles as though God is punishing us. To punish is to "Inflict a penalty or sanction on (someone) as retribution for an offense, especially a transgression of a legal or moral code." We become angry and bitter about what we don't actually understand. God is not trying to punish you but instead He is trying to discipline you. When we think of this, we don't realize that these are actually two very different things. In the Bible it says "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son."
If you go on it says "No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." To discipline is to "Train (someone) to obey rules or a code of behavior, using a punishment to correct disobedience." God's intention is not to hurt you and cripple you but to empower you and enable you in a way that shapes you. You may not be where you want to be right now but you will get there! I am not where I want to be but like you've heard before, I am so grateful to not be where I used to be! Even small steps in the right direction, are still furthering you a little bit more from the wrong one. Seek Christ and you will find yourself, a self that you can be proud of and a self you can be content with!
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Purpose of BlogI am just a regular mom and typical preacher's daughter, living and learning day by day. Facing the inevitable and learning to embrace flaws! I'm finding beauty in disaster, contentment in disappointment, and hope where it's become impractical. I'm here to provide support in learning to love yourself, love your life and embrace the scars and the stories left behind, obstacles you've encountered and the suffering you've endured. Archives
October 2018
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