Holy cow.. It's been a long time. I can't believe the number of visits my site still gets every day which is so humbling to me, it's such a blessing that you guys not only support me but that you guys can relate or that my blogs can be encouraging to you! I'm back though and hopefully for good. This blog should inform you a little bit about why I've not spent much time updating these and keeping up with you all. So, something happened to me today. It hit me so hard that here I am, after months of not blogging, telling you all about it! After taking my client to her dentist appointment (I am a full time caregiver, for those of you who didn't know that- now you know.. OOPS! ), we went to Starbucks. I needed my fix, again... OOOOOPS! Haha. I'll be cliche for a second and say, I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Anyways, I order and after waiting a few minutes in line, it's my turn. With my Starbucks app in hand, ready to go and my stomach filled with butterflies, ready to destroy this coffee frappuccino, she gave me my drink and said have a good day. I probably gave her one of those looks that was unintentionally dirty, out of utter confusion because she wasn't asking for my money. I reached out my phone anyways and just smiled. Then she smiled back at me and said it was already paid for, by the guy in the car that was in front of me. Now I've heard of this happening to other people but come on, these things just don't happen to me. I looked at my coffee, back at the girl, at my client Emilee.. then back at my coffee, back at the girl, and again turned to Emilee. I repeated this awkward sequence over and over, out of total surprise. I could not believe it! How did he know? So I'm writing this to you, sir. How did you know? How did you know that I haven't been paid in a month and a half due to mixed information with the company I work for and the card company. How did you know that the only reason that I have any money at all, strictly for food and for gas was given to me by my parents for the first time in the 8 months I have lived here. How did you know that the only reason I could even afford an almost $5 coffee, without feeling bad for spending money on it was because of gift cards that people had given to me. How did you that I cried myself to sleep last night, that I couldn't stop long enough to even fall asleep until about 4 in the morning. How did you know that I slept for only 2 hours before having to be at work? How did you know that I needed this coffee to even make it through the day, much less through the rest of the week. How did you know that paying for my coffee would change everything? I've given everything, my whole life to help others... to encourage others. Any bit of motivation and energy I have, I have used to give others some. Please hear my heart because I don't say this to brag about myself.. But I've lived my life to always make others feel better about themselves. I've tipped people more than I can afford to, more than the average 15-20% regardless of good the service so that they have the money to come get themselves a cup of coffee when they want to. How did you know that I beat myself up every day because I can't afford to go to college? How did you know that I'v been so weary, that I've been so broken, and that I've been so overwhelmed. How did you know that I am only 19 years old, working positions, responsibly with more hours than most adults? Sir.. Don't get me wrong my life is not this bad, I promise you. In fact my life is exactly as I want it to be. Because this is what life is all about, helping others and loving people, as a whole. But it is no less tiring and I have never come across anyone who has ever been that for me. I would be far more miserable if I had chosen the life I wanted, the life I planned because it was for me and no one else. I don't really believe that you knew any of these things but you were the answer to them. When I am weary, I'll think of you and the power of our actions. I will think of the depth that our decisions have. When I'm tired and feel as though my efforts are taken advantage of, I'll think of you and how it feels on the other end of love. Not just loving but being loved. So thank you. I hate that I have no idea who you are and I wish more than anything that this blog could find its way to you so that you knew how much I truly appreciate what you did for me, regardless of how small you might have thought this was. I pray that God reveals himself to you in a way that He never has before, if you've ever even encountered Him at all. I pray that someone would be to you, what you were for me, multiplied by 1000. I pray that you never reach the lows that I have and that your struggles would be mine, that I would take your place. I pray that you are blessed and that you would always live a life spent helping others, the way that you helped me today. Chivalry is not dead, neither is every other good thing that society has learned to live without. So on that note, to everyone else who has been left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked, weary, taken advantage of, to those of you who are confused with your purpose and the plan that God has for your life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. How do I know? Because even I am in the same boat. Who would have thought right, that the perfect pastor's kids could ever possibly go through struggles and stress. This is not necessarily a Biblical thing nor is it fact so don't take my words out of context but I firmly believe that God is about to reveal himself to this generation, in a way He hasn't yet. I firmly believe that this darkness and this stand still we're all in, will begin to make sense. The confusion is about to be broken. I firmly believe that God has a plan for this generation, including myself that doesn't yet make sense but that will. So i encourage you guys to hold on, to use this desperation not for attention or for pity but for God size answers. God is waiting for a generation to get so desperate that when He waves the flag, we're ready. This is a time of preparation and positioning, so instead of becoming weary, find strength in Him. Don't get discouraged but seek him, pursue Him. I hope and pray that reading this refreshes you, the way a free cup of coffee would.
You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are important, you have a purpose. Blessing others is a part of that purpose, loving people, ALL people, including those who wrong us, is a part of that purpose. No one runs a race without practice, without preparation and I promise you that you cannot fulfill what God has called you to do until you are willing to live a life that honors what Christ did. It's Easter time, so we've reminisced about the story of a man who died on the cross for our sins, trading mercy for shame, grace for our sinful nature. But that's not the whole story. There was a story behind the man that died on that cross, we are quick to celebrate His birth, mourn His death, and glorify His resurrection but this same man lived His life serving others, loving others, praying for others, and blessing others. He was fair to both those deserving and those undeserving, alike. He lived a life free of gossip, free of judgement, free of unforgiveness, The greatest act of ministry is not taken through our qualification but through our position, not our job but our placement. Where God has you right now, is where He wants you and what you do with your current opportunity is up to you. Then I promise you that someday God will honor your faithfulness to Him and your life will become a pedestal for the "How did you know" generation that's next. "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things. Those who belong to christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there" (Galatians 5:22-24) NLT
2 Comments
Jayden Bree, you deserve everything. You know I'm not a liar - it's just not my nature - and you know that. You deserve everything because you have a gentle heart. You spread love to all those who are in need, for example, me. "1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)
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Charlie
3/30/2016 05:13:54 am
Jaybird that was very moving and in my eyes you are perfect in every way, Stay true to yourself and your beliefs and you will go far in life . Love you Jay bird
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Purpose of BlogI am just a regular mom and typical preacher's daughter, living and learning day by day. Facing the inevitable and learning to embrace flaws! I'm finding beauty in disaster, contentment in disappointment, and hope where it's become impractical. I'm here to provide support in learning to love yourself, love your life and embrace the scars and the stories left behind, obstacles you've encountered and the suffering you've endured. Archives
October 2018
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