Sometimes life doesn't make sense.
You go through things that you truly don't understand, no matter how hard you try to. It becomes easy to let the process discourage you. (When I refer to a process, I'm truly referring to the journey, the in-between. Not the beginning, not the finish line but the journey that gets you from point A to point Z. ) Moving to Springfield is apart of that journey for me. God made it so that home, stopped feeling like home. I didn't have a purpose there anymore, my time there was finished. Through this blog, as readers you guys have experienced the many adventures I've had and the many trials I have faced, throughout this process. As I have come to create a life here, I have come to discover myself and the life that God has destined me for. I am learning daily that I missed the point.. Coming here was not reaching the promise land. My destiny wasn't on the other end of the VERY long car ride and my future wasn't waiting for me. This too, is a part of the journey. In fact it is only a stop along the way! Ive realized that I won't ever actually find myself and that when I do come to the realization of who I truly am, there will be no need for me anymore and my journey will be over. Life is a journey, life is process filled with experiences that get us to another point on the map. Too many times we expect answers, we expect success and understanding before it is necessary. In life, we change. Daily, the person that we are is altered by our experiences. We often times, find ourselves waiting for the day that our purpose is revealed and if you wait until then to challenge yourself and become something great, you will have wasted a wonderful life, only to become nothing at all. Each day is a new opportunity to achieve greatness! Each day holds the opportunity to be the best you, that you have ever been. Now let me tell you this, coming here changed everything. I am still struggling to get these big girl pants up but I'm working on it. IT IS LONELY, oh my gosh, it is so lonely. Every other day I feel like I am bawling my eyes out and begging to go home. I am exhausted because working 65- sometimes 70 hours a week, is overwhelming. It was a game changer when I realized that this life deserves the best me, every day that goes into it. But it has also been one of the most refreshing things, knowing that I am exactly where I need to be at this rate. So what, I just work at the mall working retail. So what, I don't have a place of my own. I'm not a millionaire and in fact, sometimes I hesitate to hand over my card when I have to spend money. Life will be very disappointing if you hold yourself to an unrealistic standard. I am learning to appreciate the process. There will always be financial struggles, someone else's life will always seem more enticing, and when you finally give into buying those shoes that have been trending for some time, suddenly they become has beens and are no longer relevant. Who would have thought, that all of this time Ive spent worrying about tomorrow, nearly caused me to miss the joys of today. There are people around me today that I will never encounter again, there are opportunities today that I will never be given again so I will take them even when it means sitting alone. Turns out this party of one, is actually a party of two, you're the guest of honor and the Host had reserved this spot just for you. God's plan is far greater than yours, the more you focus on this agenda of your own.. the more likely you will be to miss what you've been waiting for.
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Purpose of BlogI am just a regular mom and typical preacher's daughter, living and learning day by day. Facing the inevitable and learning to embrace flaws! I'm finding beauty in disaster, contentment in disappointment, and hope where it's become impractical. I'm here to provide support in learning to love yourself, love your life and embrace the scars and the stories left behind, obstacles you've encountered and the suffering you've endured. Archives
October 2018
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