Over the last couple of years, I’ve come to understand how easy it is to get lost in life.
There is always something to blame for why I didn’t do something. For years I have been trying to get myself back in front of this laptop and I could sit here and come up with a million reasons why I haven’t. When I don’t go to the gym, I could blame it on just about anything else in my life. When my house is a mess and my life is shambles, I’m sure that I can find something to pin it on and if we’re being honest, these days it’s usually because i’m a mom. That’s always the reason I don’t get something done now. I get lost in this new role that I am learning. As humans, we are natural chameleons. We are constantly camouflaging ourselves into our surroundings. We scroll for hours through our social media pages, hitting the refresh button to check our updated ratings, just to see what everyone else thinks about what we’re doing. Then we find ourselves discouraged when someone else is doing better. Well, I must not be pretty enough and my body must not be nice enough and my life just isn’t good enough. We filter our way through life, trying to make everything look a certain way just so we can feel seen. We get lost in our mind and in our feelings. This is a BIG one for me because I am such a feeler! OMG.. I wish I felt a fourth of what I feel sometimes! I am such an emotional person. It takes one word to either make me or break me and what someone says can stay with me for days and weeks and really, forever.. We are living in one of the darkest times because so many people are stuck in the stickiest parts of their minds. Depression and anxiety are whispering these songs of torment into the ears of anyone that will listen. I’m watching so many that I know and love struggle to silence the voices of my old friends and I want to help anyone who is willing to let me try. I want to help silence the voices that try to tell us that we are not enough and speak life back into the most broken places of our beings. At the end of the day, the place that I have found myself the most lost in, is in my role as a mom and I think a lot of people lose themselves here too. I get lost in my routines, in the day to day running around and trying to keep up. I get lost in the mess, not just the toys and the trash and the drool but the actual mess that I am. When I say mess, I mean when I haven’t shaved or worse, when I haven’t even showered.. when I am breaking out and my messy bun really pushes the limits of what a messy bun should look like! I mean, they call it a messy bun but how messy is too messy?? This is a question I ask myself a few times a week, day. I find myself so busy, especially being a working mom and I have found myself just living to do what needs to be done and trying to figure what makes the list of most important. Sometimes that includes the gym but most of the time it doesn’t. Sometimes eating barely makes the list. So how in the world am I supposed to sit down and write? Hah. Well today, I’m doing the thing and not just for me but for you. The you that is taking the few minutes you have to read this, even if you’re having to read it in small increments throughout the week! I want you to feel seen for the first time in a long time. I want you to feel known and understood because while we’re all struggling in a lot of the same ways, we somehow convince ourselves that it’s just us and that we have to keep up or catch up with everyone else! I’m here to tell you that you’re doing fine. You’re crushing it! Your instagram may not have a color scheme or a theme and that's fine. You are beautiful. You don’t have to look a certain way and you don’t need to use a filter. You’re not failing because your baby is wearing Walmart. They’re going to get messed up and they’ll grow out of them soon anyways. If your house is a mess, welcome to the majority! The people you’re striving to be like, don’t have it all together either. We are ALL struggling! So welcome to the mess, the chaos. We’ve been waiting for you or at least I have and I’m always glad to know its not just me. You are not alone and I am so sorry for the person reading this who is hurting, overwhelmed, frustrated, bitter, and/or anxious. I see you. I’ve been you, sometimes I still am you. Forgive me for not being here sooner but I am here now and I’m going to try to be here often. Welcome to my mess, cheers to 2022! xoxoxo!
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11/17/2022 08:26:03 pm
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Purpose of BlogI am just a regular mom and typical preacher's daughter, living and learning day by day. Facing the inevitable and learning to embrace flaws! I'm finding beauty in disaster, contentment in disappointment, and hope where it's become impractical. I'm here to provide support in learning to love yourself, love your life and embrace the scars and the stories left behind, obstacles you've encountered and the suffering you've endured. Archives
October 2018
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